"...Do battle in chastity and service until you make yourself a king"

- Title quote by Pachomius the Great


In an earlier post "you-make-me-want-to-be-better-man" I discussed that what drives my interest in this lifestyle choice is not the desire to submit, but the desire to grow through service and sacrifice to someone I love.  I am not what the community would refer to as a natural or true submissive. I have a beta personality construct that resides within me alongside my normative alpha personality construct.  Either can be projected externally and embraced internally when appropriate or desired.  In seeking to become a better person through becoming a better husband, I discovered that strengthening the beta personality through devoted service and chastity worked well for me.

I suggest that placing one's wants and needs below that of another could be considered a form of submission.  A good mother puts her wants and needs below that of her child, but do we consider that submission? The diminishing of ego is the same, but it is self imposed rather than coming from the outside through the will of another.  Does this disqualify it as submission?  Would a dominant female reject this form of submission from a man because it wasn't elicited from him by the power of her will?  If she had to choose, would she prefer a man who waits to follow her orders or one who actively anticipates her needs?  Clearly both is better, but I'm guessing the second form is the rarer of the two.


In my opinion, a devoted husband should aspire to learn the needs of his wife and act accordingly even before she recognizes those needs.  This is especially true even if that means his disobedience that might lead to discipline.  For example, the husband pointing out something to the wife that might lead her to some self-discovery but perhaps would be uncomfortable for her.  I understand that great care and restraint is needed when giving another person constructive feedback, and perhaps there is a better example to make my case here.  My point though is this: if my mate was a submissive, I would want them looking out for my best interests full-time and not just fulfilling my orders.  One might guess that only the most confident of dominant women would be comfortable with a submissive evaluating every order in the context of if its good or bad for her and acting accordingly.  It seems to me that enforcing blind compliance would be more certain and comfortable.  

In our case, Madame continues to gradually grow in her authority, which as I previously mentioned, does not come naturally to her.  It seems that creating a safe and stable environment of service and sacrifice around her is empowering that side of her.  It has also opened her up both physically and experientially.  Intimacy and romance has increased between us.  My hope is that she will continue to gain as much or more from this journey than I.

~ uxorious mate